If there is a God, why is my life so messed up? I understand that he puts us through tests and junk, but this has gone on far too long. I wanna leave this country and start a new life. If my Dad leaves me with Dawn, I will go ballistic. I can’t face her alone. There is no possible way. I just want to bury myself alive. Nobody understands what I’m going through, so don’t even try to fix this. If I ever get a chance, I’m going away. I just don’t want to be here.